So, I've had one of the most amazing weekends in many years so far.
I did try extremely hard not to spend half of the weekend figuring out what's happening in the other half. I have a lot of pre programmed responses to many events that I'm trying to reprogram. It's fairly difficult not to fall back into old habits, old worries, old concerns, and old fears.
However, I cannot repeat the same responses to stimuli and expect a different result.
What I am referring to here is that I met someone, well really they met me because they found something interesting enough to reach out which I appreciate greatly.
This person in bodies everything that I could ask for if I made a wish list of my ideal companion. At least for what I've seen so far.
I'm trying to reconcile the rush of a new potential relationship and also trying to discern what is the anxiety of feelings is fear to allow myself the possibility to open up. We actually talked openly about this this weekend and I believe she said she goes through the same thing.
I never expected something like this would fall into my lap so quickly and I would have to deal with it so suddenly.
I am open to this, this is what I've been wanting for a long time, and this is something that I will try very hard not to screw up.
I'm not really sure how to end this blog entry, I've been trying to think what to write since Friday night. I guess all that I can say in closing is I asked for this, I wanted this, and I intend to make the most of it.
