So, perhaps it's about a week since I've had red meat, or internal conflict. Perhaps it's the feeling of an onus that I need to be a good person...
Sometimes I have unexpected "wolf days."
Yesterday and today have been two such days.
Today I had a counselor appointment. He asked me for names of family members and when he got to my stepfather, he asked for his last name. Now, as far as I'm concerned, no counselor or anyone needs first and last names of anyone unless there was a history of some sort of assault. My stepfather was one of the better parental figures I had around. the counselor debated me, saying I may not have a reason to give his full name, but perhaps he did. He then claimed I was being defensive. Yes, you come after me for something I'm not providing you that you actually do not have a reason to have, then yes, I will get defensive. I let it go and then he kept bringing it up. I was done, using the techniques he taught me a session or two ago. His constant insistence like I had something to hid reminded me a lot like my father's methods which I had already described to him. So, I guess his point was to get me to react.
Well, I'm acting. You sir, are fired.
Two sessions ago he actually told me that a woman who came to see him had a problem understanding why her husband beat her frequently. He told her that it was her responsibility and if she changed her way of approaching him, perhaps he wouldn't hit her.
Yes, he supports husbands that beat their wives and tells the wife that it's her fault.
He already breached confidentiality with me, so why would he not give out my information to someone else? Plus the information was that he supports wife beating husbands and the wives should change if the husband isn't going to counseling.
I'm not a fool, I'm not irrational, I generally have a damn good reason for every opinion I have and action I take.
***********The following is a personal declaration and not targeted at anyone buy myself. If you believe it is about you or anyone you know, you are right, it's about me. Nobody else. If you can't accept this, then you don't listen to my words.*****************************************
I want to run at night, bare my fangs, feel the moonlight on my skin. Howl at the moon and soar with the eagles.
The key here is action.
I'm not going to sit around and wait for anything, unless waiting is the appropriate action to fulfill my quest.
I'm not going to overanalyze my words, I'm going to speak my heart.
And I'm not going to apologize for continual misunderstandings when I'm stating myself clearly.
This goes for all areas of my life.
I am a warrior cloaked in darkness. I will fly across the hot winds of Hell to destroy my enemies. Time and time again, none targeted have stood against me, they cower and make excuses to vanish from my life. Someone crosses someone I love, they may as well resign themselves to emotional death or insanity. Your skeletons will be burst out of your closet and fall in front of the people best placed to impale you with their splintered bones.
I m a healer enrobed in the light. I will put my very heart and soul on the line to give you health and happiness. I will commune with the ancestors and Gods on your behalf and cry endless tears of compassion to give you one moment of peace and happiness. I sacrifice endless hours for those that come to me asking for help, it is a pact I have made with myself and with Spirit to help as long as I walk the Earth or longer. In healing, I transcend time and space and accomplish miracles.
I will walk the line between the roads of darkness and light, heaven and hell, health and sickness, life and death. I do this because I made a pact in blood engraved above my heart to do so. Such things are not entered into likely. During the process, the messenger walked in and schooled me in the ways of doing such things. This knowledge is indisputable and mine, not up for debate. Would you walk this line? If you can't take the risk, then you can not speak of it.
I do nothing on faith. I do everything based on lessons taught to me from mouth to ear, if one can say these beings still have mouths. The processes result in tangible results in the Daylight.
You debate processes as you will...
Results are all that matter.
.jpg)
Don't be mislead by what your eyes show you, there is much more beneath this cover. The chapters are exciting, the volumes enticing. What may appear as a "plain brown wrapper" is much more than you can ever imagine.
This is why I don't judge people unmercifully.
This is why I show extreme compassion.
This is why I exist.
