Woke up
Got a text from my healer friend cautioning me to rest today since I still felt I got run over.
At this point what I should have done was lay around, read, watch movies, run out for something halfway healthy or make something at home, perhaps picked up a few more movies and just relaxed.
(Author's note, I'm a dumbass sometimes)
What I actually did.
Showered and got dressed
went to PetsMart to look at adoptadogs
got real hungry but instead of going to eat when I needed when I was by a Panera Bread....
went downtown to look at more adoptadogs
got a big pizza and brought it home
Watched 2.5 Adam Sandler movies and one not Adam Sandler
Took a nap during one of them
Ate last night's leftovers (baked potato, cheese fries, Caesar salad)
Watched a bit more of a movie
got in car, went to casino
Yes, now at this point, you may be asking yourself "where the hell did this come from" well, I was asking myself that too...
Spent 2 hours in the casino and threw away an undisclosed sum. Never going to that casino again, if I do, it won't be to play.
Drove home thinking about what I had done all day and the money I lost, not in a negative way, just in a factual way.
Finished half a movie, finished off the last two slices of the 20" pizza I bought and decided to type this up.
So, a few changes I am making in light of today and my new chance at life I have been given over these past few days.
No more casino gambling. (I hardly ever go, but I could have bought food for meals for a week or so on what I put in to play and smell like smoke.)
No more dining out until I eat the food I have at the house. (Yes, that includes the slab of bacon and bag of chicken tenders I got from the Blue and Gold fund raiser. BLT's are good eatin!) *Note that this doesn't apply to lunch, I have to get out of the shop or I'll go nuts.*
Ok, go further nuts.
No more crap food. No more Sonic, Arby's, etc. I can make better at home for less. (goes along with the no dining out rule. The exception to that rule being if I go out to eat with friends on those rare occasions.)
Minimal red meat. I'm not really used to eating a lot of it, so this shouldn't be a problem.
Minimal carbs. Now this will be a problem. However, thin crust pizza instead of regular, whole grain bread or tortillas instead of big hunks of bread, salads at Lenny's instead of the same thing on a bun. This also applies to greasy foods.
Sushi, ok, fuck that, I'm not cutting out sushi. Cutting back a bit on the amount I eat since I take it from being a healthy meal to being a gorge worse than me at a Chinese buffet. (Just thank god Casa Bonita isn't still open, I could totally kill off a mess of those cheese enchiladas and sopapillas.)
Alcohol: No more. I'm done with it. Too many headaches and pains with all the drinking leading up to Halloween. I may have one glass of wine at Thanksgiving if my parents even have Thanksgiving at their house this year, but aside from that, I'm done with alcohol.
Sex... yup, tried going cold turkey before (wait, that's a terrible visual, sex and cold turkey... but you know there's a website somewhere...sigh, I digress) Anyhow... I'm tired of disrespecting myself and having sex too soon with someone or just having a relationship (or one night stand) solely based on sex. So, new rule, that's going to be my Christmas present to myself (if I can find a partner, even if I have to go back to my "always down for it" list.) Hopefully I'll be in a relationship with someone I love, trust, and respect by then. If not, then at least I will have been true to myself.
So, 52 days without sex. I know some of you readers are thinking "wow, so what, I go six months or more without sex" well, I usually don't. so however that makes me look, then I'm sorry. We all have needs and desires, I just don't mind filling those needs and desires. Yup, take that visual.
Ah, also, if you subscribe to this blog, you get email updates. Nobody has done so thus far, but that's how it works.
Reality check:
Do I really think I can accomplish all that? Well, tomorrow will be day 1. I may fail at some of it right out of the gate. If I falter, then I'll start back up again. That's the only way it can happen.
Yes, I'm really keeping my FaceBook account deleted. So, if there's anything going on, then please sent me an email for events in the Tulsa area.
Things I'd like to try:
Piano lessons
Dance lessons
Making my own soup
Being happy all day, just for one day (may mean taking the day off)
Turning my phone off for an entire day
Driving to the mountains in Eastern Oklahoma
Speed dating (just once, you never know)
Ok, that's long enough for this blog. I know I've gotten some unexpected readers and some voices from the past saying hi unexpectedly. It's all welcome. Feel free to share my blog on your social networking pages. Who knows, it might help someone.
I fear I may have to start writing again. I could always write about my last year of the journey through hell. Don't want to look at it yet though. I think I'm in too fragile of a state presently to reflect back. I'm afraid I will pull too much into the present.
